Tides

Rise with the ebb, fall with the flow
how much further out is this tide gonna go?
I built a life jacket out of some peace and calm
but it feels like scraping bottom as I'm floating along.
Don't get me wrong, there are a few kind boats in the vicinity
offering lines so I won't float off to infinity
but while I can dream of surfing as I'm dragging in their wake
I wonder what it takes for me to make the surface break.
I wonder if I still hold my breath just the same,
or if diving back down I would drown in the pain.
I'm not afraid to get wet, but I don't like to get cold
so for now I'm putting body pillows in a soggy choke hold.