Nice and easy day,
I'm feeling alert and rested.
I'm not stressing while I'm dressing
because I've not invested
any focus on the motions
of the words crawling on my screens.
And I'm just starting to look
at what those headlines really mean
And it's obscene, reporters say
that it's the worst it's ever been,
and I better pay attention,
and I better tell my friends,
and I better form opinions,
in case they ask me questions.
I'm barely dressed, and what a mess
the stress is so oppressing.
I don't want to know the misery.
I don't want to know the trauma.
I know it's good to know,
but if you're asking, I don't wanna!
I just need a minute,
I just need to catch my breath,
before another talking head
talks me half to death.
I am clenched!

‍But I'm not doing myself right
by holding on so tight
so I breathe in.. and I unclench.

On the clock, I know my role,
my tasks are my domain.
Whenever there are questions
I'm happy to explain.
I try to speak real plainly,
work's not the place for rhyme.
I repeat vocabulary
to remind you of last time
you asked this question.
I thought the lesson
was written rather clear,
and I can tell you mean your best
but it get mixed betwixt your ears.
So listen here, and pay attention
It's true that I forgot to mention
this one detail, that's why we failed
but honestly, this tension
wouldn't be here if you tried
a little more to think it through
and apply the good advice
I deliver down to you!
I am clenched!

‍But I'm not helping anybody
holding tightness in my body
so I breath out.. and I unclench.

‍I make a pretty picture.
I write a pleasant poem.
I dream about what it would take
to put one in your home.
I wonder if the eyes that see me
perceive clearly or if colors
mask the kind of person I am
underneath my careful cover.
If the feelings I express
in fractal graphs and verses
are secret windows to my soul
or just flashy diversions.
And whether I deserve
the smiles that are meant for me
because I've done amazing things
but been lazy rather recently.
And I can dream as big as trees
and wider than an island nation.
But when I sit to tickle keys
I'm still lacking motivation
Regurgitating workflows,
copying myself,
frying trying to convert
expressions into wealth
Don't they see it? Don't they notice?
That I'm only pretending to be cool!
I'm still the dorky kid who can't
make friends outside of school.
I am clenched!

‍But I'm never going to grow
if I hold on to pain below
so I breathe deep.. and I unclench.

‍I'm a nervous person
I clench up quite a lot
my breathing is constricted,
my stomach tying knots.
My eyes are carving lines
across the scene like laser scans.
My knee is bouncing on it's own
and I'm rubbing both my hands.
But I have plans for times like this.
I've been building up some tools
so that when my mind is racing
I have another path to choose.
I think through all my muscles,
I ask each one to please release.
I try to think of pushing air
to there while breathing deep.
I tell my anxious thoughts
to watch their step within my mind.
I grow flowers here with happy scents
that take me back to pleasant times.
I sit in my inner garden
until the stress wanders away,
and I can open up my eyes
and get on with my day.
I am unclenched.