There's a difference between hoping and seeking
the same as the difference between dreaming and speaking.
If you don't speak your heart, how's the world supposed to know?
Eyes are pretty, but I'm pretty sure your voice reveals your soul.
I used to keep it in, my desires were my secrets
I was a bit convinced that collecting was indecent.
I thought that getting what I wanted was an impossible task
until I learned sometimes, I just have to ask.
Our brains are machines that explain why not.
Feeling good, having fun, till we hurt, then it stops,
and it makes a new memory, encodes a fresh lesson
to keep away from whatever we found so distressing
Impressing stress in rather messy ways,
Signals get fuzzy as the details fade
and we grow to fear anything even kinda similar
so growing up is growing scared, it's really kind of sinister.
So of course you have a list of all the reasons why
you stay unsatisfied, but afraid to even try.
So do I, and for me that almost ended tragically
until I found a way to live my life more magically.
I try my best not to invest in too much woo,
I trust a scientific method to tell me what's true.
But believing is a tool, and I'm a utilitarian
and this one let me love the brain underneath my hair again:
If I speak my intention in fully formed thoughts
I find what I need, more often than not.
It doesn't always come easy, there's usually a cost
but now I've got a compass, instead of feeling lost.
Ask for too much, it's as bad as too little
but there's a sweet spot somewhere in the middle
where you have a couple dreams, and you open up to help
and the universe conspires for you to help yourself.
It's not quite prayer, it's not quite meditation.
It's more like manual transfiguration.
The act of condensing desire into sentences
illuminates a path, this is my main premises.
There my be a bigger current, there might be a deeper well
but I'm happing dipping toes, so far it's served me well
I asked for a path away from dark pits
now I'm sending my art to the stars for kicks
I asked for love that didn't cast shade
now my lover sparkles brighter than the sunniest days
I asked for a chance to rest and recover,
and discovered what my family means to each other.
Now I ask to be seen, and I ask to be heard
and I try to be the kind of guy who's worth what he deserves.
I get to tickle algorithms and arrange my favorite words
I'm a laser fractal space wizard, I know it sounds absurd
but I asked to live a life like this, I'm happy that I do.
So try out asking sometimes, see if it works for you.
Enjoying my poetry? I have over 70 of my best poems from 2018-2022 in a collection called Laser Fractal Space Magic. Available digitally and in paperback.